Don’t Do It: The Neckerchief.

Yes, it’s been awhile.

Call it a fashionable absence. Or lack of time and creativity (blegh).

But! I’m getting back into the swing of things.

I just came across this blog post by Kempt (great post, especially the last paragraph which sums up the motivation behind PG), in response to an article by Men’s Flair regarding Carey Grant and his love for a neckerchief in To Catch a Thief. This particular post really struck a cord, as I’ve been reading more and more about this bogus style phenomenon. Now, I’m not one to have style icons, but Carey Grant is about as close as it has come for me (him and Bond). However, this is a look that you just don’t want to duplicate.

Let me repeat. This look will not work for you.

It’s too effeminate. Lord, the name alone makes me cringe.

Yes, Italian men can pull it off. Yes, Italian men are consistently considered to be style gods. But, we’re American men. Our style is a no-nonsense blend of confidence and masculinity. The neckerchief does not fit this bill. All it does is introduce flair. Which, for most guys, isn’t a good thing. We don’t want flair in our outfits. We want style. We want masculinity. And we exude both of these things with a sense of controlled expression.

This isn’t to say you should be opposed to throwing in some punk into your outfit. I’m all for that. Nobody wants to look like a square. The difference is that the little dash of punk should still send the right message. Say it with your tie, color choice, socks, tshirt, or the fit of your clothes. Just don’t say it with a neckerchief.

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Chinos, I’m Quitting You.

My February Resolution? I’m done with chinos. I’ve said it before, but this time I mean it. I’m going to stop trying to make them look cool, and stop forcing myself into believing I can make them work. It’s just too hard.

I made the decision this morning as I was browsing through M+O’s new offering of chinos and almost got sucked in, again.

Chinos have to fit perfectly. Because of the heft of the fabric there is less room for error with chinos than with jeans. Too baggy and you look WAY slobby. They have to be perfectly slim fitting. But even when they fit perfectly, they still don’t look right. That’s why chinos are so evil.

The problem is that chinos are supposed to fill that weird gap between jeans and trousers. The only problem is that they do it so poorly, you might as well just opt for the other choices.

You always end up looking *too* preppy. Too shiny. While PG strives to look clean and put together, there’s always a hint of attitude thrown in. Even if it’s in the subtle pairing of colors or textures. With chinos, you don’t have that. There’s no grunge, no character. It’s like you stepped right out of a Gap ad. It’s too vanilla.

But, dear reader, you may say “wait, what about those great JCrew outfits in their catalogs?” Lies. All of them. They look fantastic on paper, but in practice it’s almost impossible to pull off without looking like you actually work at JCrew. It’s too contrived.

Chinos are not stylish.

Phew. There. I’ve said it.

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Power Jeans.

Reader Ward clued me in on this article from the Wall Street Journal about the acceptability of jeans in previously unlikely places, like the White House.

It’s an interesting read though don’t form any conclusions based on the pictures. Photos of Nicolas Sarkozy in stone washed Levi’s, Medvedev in decent jeans but an ill-fitting sport coat (described as “fine” within the article), and Obama in dad jeans all send the wrong message. It appears as though whomever chose the photos didn’t bother to read the actual article.

I found this part interesting regarding the acceptability of jeans, and the shunning of a typical suit, for a job interview:

We have Steve Jobs to thank for today’s power jeans. His uniform of Levi’s 501s and a black turtleneck was synonymous with innovation in the ’90s; now, in the tech world, dressy pants can be viewed with suspicion. “When someone shows up to an interview or meeting in anything other than jeans, it shows inexperience and a lack of confidence,” says Andrew Dumont, vice president of marketing for text-messaging company Tatango.

Though jeans may be commonplace in a variety of work places, the author rightly points to this mantra for judging their acceptability:

Power jeans may best be left to the executives in mixed-rank groups. Being a junior person wearing jeans in a room full of pinstripes could spell “youthful blunder.” Perhaps the best rule is that of the high-priced boutique: If you have to ask, you can’t afford to wear them.

PG has always supported the notion that a pair of clean, slim, and dark modern jeans are suitable for a wide range of occasions. Though, truthfully I’ve never thought of it as a “power” item, perhaps I was wrong.

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Shed the Business Casual Uniform.

I recently drove through downtown during lunch time and it was like a rally for Office Max workers on the streets. I saw so many pleated khaki pants, blue button downs, and white undershirts that I wanted to stop and ask if somebody could help me with my printer cartridge.

When it comes to business casual, I really don’t get the drabness, because it’s so easy to make it look cool. Say it with me: just because others dress like poop doesn’t mean that you have to follow suit.

I know PG has highlighted weekend/night wear more frequently, because looking cool when you go out is important. But, you’re in your office clothes 40+ hrs/week. It’s your life. You should look good while you’re banking it.

Here are 10 steps to help you shed the business casual uniform. I’ll just highlight the basics, reminiscent of the Fit Rules of yore, and save the specific examples of work-wear outfits for later posts, similar to what I’ve done with going out outfits the past couple of weeks.

Step 1: Update your work chinos.
Opt for a modern fit to your trousers. This means no pleats. The pants should hit just below your waist, not ride up high, and there shouldn’t be an excess of fabric either in the crotch or at the bottom of the pant leg. The pants should fit you precisely.

For more in-depth rules, review the previous pant fit post.

Step 2: Treat khaki (the color) as a suggestion, not the rule.
Try a different color. Navy blues look especially good, especially when paired with a richly colored brown pair of shoe. But be cautious with color chinos, they lose their hue fairly rapidly. Once they begin to fade, it’s time to retire them to weekend duty.

Step 3: Give your ace a break.
It’s good to rest your starter and let the others in your rotation pick up some slack. So occasionally ditch the chinos, and opt for some tropical wool or cotton trousers. The different texture and finish of the fabric will help to liven things up and (if you execute properly) will instantly set you aside from your Dockers loving coworkers.

Step 4: Colors that don’t rhyme with “igloo” for a thousand.
I know guys like blue, and all the variants of the shade. But, branch out! Try the whole color spectrum, just as long as you keep it season-appropriate. No pastels when it’s cold out.

Step 5: Beware thy undershirt.
I’ve written about this previously, but an undershirt is an undershirt. We don’t need to see it, unless you want us to. And in that case give us something cool to look at. Not a plain white, Hanes tshirt. Opt for a V-neck, or a colored crew neck (if your office environment allows for it) with a nice firm elastic band. Or, go with a ‘beater, so that nothing shows.

Step 6: Embrace a pattern.
Solid shirts are good, but can get boring. Nothing livens up an outfit like a quality patterned shirt. You need not go overboard, you are after all supposed to dress more conservatively, but there’s still some room for style. Try either a subtle stripe, or a nice check. You can’t go wrong.

Step 7: Throw on a tie.
Sure, it’s business casual, but a tie doesn’t inherently mean it’s formal (as noted by the recent jeans w/ tie post). A modern outfit, with a modern tie, is refreshing to see in the great fluorescent jungle. Keep it slim (but not pencil thin), with a very subtle pattern and pair it with Step 6 and you’ll be golden.

Step 8: Put something good on your feet.
Casual sneakers, or larger rubbery-soled shoes are not acceptable. However, you don’t have to go with wafer-thin, leather soles of formal dress shoes. Instead, opt for something in between, yet still stylish and modern. Go ahead and splurge, and get 2-3 shoes that you can rotate in and out. Then gradually phase in some newer ones as you go to ensure consistently stylish kicks.

Step 9: Bluetooth headset?
No.

Step 10: A visible Blackberry holster is unacceptable.
Go ahead and suffer the uncomfortableness that is a bulky cellphone in your pocket, so we don’t have to suffer by looking at your brick of a cellphone strapped to your belt loop. You have 4 large pockets, if need be put it in your non-wallet back pocket.

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Overdone: Jean Pocket Edition.

I don’t know when the line between women’s and men’s jeans became so blurred, but I can tell that some guys are confused. Jean pockets for guys are not a place to showcase personality. As I mentioned before, a man’s style should be simple and clean. Leave the cutesy patterns to the women-folk.

Think classic Levi’s pockets, and that’s it.

Here’s a checklist:

Elaborate flaps over your pockets?
No.

Rhinestones?
(seriously?) No.

Anything that glitters?
No.

Embroidered designs?
No.

Multiple colors of thread?
No.

All of the following do NOT work.

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Get Groomed.

I’ll be the first to admit that I was slow to jump on the quality haircut bandwagon. I was taught by my dad to actively seek out the cheapest haircut. Not too long ago I remember him beaming when he found a shop that charged only $4.99 for a cut. But, I suppose when you’re semi-retired, own land, shoot deer with BB guns, and generally do whatever the hell you feel like, you can get away with a haircut that costs the same as a fast food meal.

And so I thought the cheaper the haircut the better. I’d go to a Supercuts/City Cuts/Sport Clips type place, but only on Tuesdays when it was $5 off, because cheaper = manlier.

Then one day I realized that I value quality things. Be it clothing, shoes, cars, beer, cigars and food. I pay very close attention to how I dress when I go out, but I was leaving one hugely noticeable area untouched: a quality haircut. So, I made an appointment with a salon, and I’ve never looked back.

What is the biggest difference? Attention to detail.

At my Quickie Haircutter I’d spend about 10 minutes in the chair. At my new place I’m there for easily 3.5 times that. With that amount of time they’re able to actually cut the hair properly, paying attention to the idiosyncrasies of my hair and my style. No chop job here.

It’s the difference of paying $4 to get a car wash at a gas station, and going and spending the $15-20 to get it hand washed. It takes more time, but the job is done much better.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have very odd hair. It’s a cross between a horse’s mane and pubic hair (you’re jealous, I know). So, perhaps it was more important for me to get a professional job, though I have talked with several other guys and they echo my sentiments. Now, if you’ve got a simple haircut like a buzz, or just like it super short, then by all means go to a Quickie Haircutter.

But, for everyone else, if you’re reading this blog, I’d hope that you’re buying into the idea that guys should care. We should be unapologetic about looking good, in our own manly way. So, while you’re paying attention to what goes on your feet, look at the other pole, and give a good quality salon a test drive.

Incidentally, for you Houstonites, I go to Daniel at Elements Salon off Waugh. Having only had my haircut by attractive women (and one cross dresser), it took me awhile to get used to having my hair cut by a guy, but he really does good stuff. The haircut isn’t too terribly priced ($35) but that includes a free necktrim whenever you need it. Also, importantly the shop decor is gender-neutral so as to ease the transition into the salon world.

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