Why You Should Care.

Posted on July 20, 2009 in Dating, Popular, Style, Style Theory, Tips.



For most guys it’s a dirty word. I’ve been called gay so many times by my buddies that it might as well be my nickname (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Those who are concerned with their style conjures images of effete, limp-wristed guys. But where does that come from? We like style in our movies, sports, and music. We like style in our cars and most importantly, in our women. So why do so many guys ignore having style in the way they dress?

Most guys will say that they don’t care. That’s bullshit. Only a select few people actually don’t care, and those guys typically are married or are on the fringe of society. Professor Einstein wore the same outfit everyday because he didn’t want to waste the mental capacity it took to think about what he should wear from day to day. You are not Einstein. You can waste that mental energy.

But back to the women

Virtually all guys want a girl who looks great all the time. Whether she’s wearing tshirt, jeans and a ballcap, or if she’s dolled up to go out. We want our women to be, as Ben Gibbard from Death Cab says, “like a walking compliment.”

The thing that most guys don’t realize, or more likely, don’t appreciate, is that it takes a helluva long time for a woman to look like that. Even when she’s not dressed formally, she still has put a ton of thought into her appearance. It’s daunting. They make appointments to get their nails (feet and hands) done, crazy expensive hair cuts, eye brows plucked/waxed, and maybe even fake-baked. Then there’s the clothes. Ignoring actual shopping time, the outfit-selection process itself takes forever. They try on a million outfits, seeking to find that one outfit that compliment the way their body looks at that exact moment. They want the outfit that mirrors their feeling for that occasion, whether its going to a ball game or out on a date. Then there are accessories. It’s amazing the amount of thought that they put into their appearance. And all for a cursory glance by most guys.

What women want, though have been conditioned to not so much care, is a guy who puts in just a modicum of that amount of attention to themselves. Somebody who cares a little bit about the way they look. Because, for the most part, women don’t go through that entire process for themselves. They do it for you. To attract you. And, based on girl-logic, if you put in the tiniest of effort towards your appearance, you are doing it for them.

The good news is that it truly takes only a small amount of effort on your part in order to really stand out. To instantly have that leg up on the guy wearing the oversized jeans and running shoes. I’m not talking about getting all GQ-d up. You need not go there. I’m just talking about putting a little bit of thought into the fit and combination of your everyday wardrobe. To make it at least seem like you own a full-length mirror and are conscious of how you appear.  Because even if you don’t give two flips, I guarantee you the girls do.

But say that you’re married or in a committed relationship. Same rules apply. Your wife didn’t just stop trying the day y’all got hitched. And if she did, then there are bigger issues at play (the reverse is valid as well).

So, that’s the women-angle about why you should care. It’s a big one for most guys, but it isn’t everything (believe it or not). You’re judged based on your appearance in virtually EVERY social setting. It’s instantaneous. To that end, style is an extension of your personality. It’s your personal billboard, why waste the ad space?

Your personal style should make you feel comfortable but at the same time augment your general persona. When I put on a shirt that just fits right I feel more myself. And EVERYTIME I slip on a formal suit or tuxedo, I feel like I’m James Bond. It makes me feel invincible. That’s the power of knowing your personal style and executing it well. And what guy doesn’t want to feel more invincible?

3 Responses to “Why You Should Care.”

  1. Monica says:

    Very accurate in your assessment of what a girl is thinking.

  2. tory says:

    oh, how the clothes do make the man. & the shoes! if you haven’t already, i highly suggest a write-up on men’s shoes. & the main points should be 1) all leather & 2) don’t cheap out.

  3. CYH says:


    Of course! Here’s a primer on how shoes should fit: http://primergreyblog.com/?p=397

    Here’s the link for the “shoes” category, where outfit ideas plus season-specific shoes are covered: http://primergreyblog.com/?cat=31

    We even cover Vegan shoes: http://primergreyblog.com/?p=334

What do you think?